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SCENE IT ALL BEFORE

That Darn Cat

4/29/2016

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Keanu Reviewed 

I don’t think you could count me as an avid fan of Key and Peele, in that I did not see every episode. But I did watch the YouTube postings afterward and often fell down the rabbit hole, unable and unwilling to get out. People familiar with their show know how funny these two guys can be. And for the uninitiated, you may recognize their faces but for the first time Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key are front and center on the big screen and they show up prepared. 

The premise of Keanu is simple: two guys are trying to get their kitten back, and thus an action movie is born. You see this kitten is so adorable that he has warmed the hearts of some very dangerous people. And now the only way to get their cat back is for these two suburbanites to infiltrate the drug world. It’s a fish-out-of-water story that our lead actors have been preparing for with five years on television.

The movie is chock full of funny moments, though I will say I don’t think I ever found myself doubled over laughing. Keanu doesn't have one big laugh-out-loud moment that everyone will universally refer back to when thinking about the movie. Instead the laughs are smaller and more consistent, which is what I look for in a comedy. I wasn’t laughing loudly, but I was laughing a lot. 
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Key and Peele chose to use the same director they worked with on their show, Peter Atencio, who makes his directorial film debut. I kind of wish they'd had someone with a little more experience. I love the loyalty factor, and using someone these guys are comfortable with makes complete sense. But the movie’s biggest fault is that at times it is uneven, and perhaps a more experienced film director could have helped.
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That is one adorable gangsta cat (Photo courtesy of moviefone.com)
There are some scenes that go on entirely too long and some that don’t go on long enough. Jokes that overstay their welcome tend to happen in a lot of comedies, especially ones born from sketch comedy. Jordan Peele, who also wrote the movie, seems to be inserting some jokes to fill time. But having seen their sketches in short form before, I know these two actors are immensely talented, and with more knowledgeable direction this movie could have taken to another level.

The reason Keanu is so good to begin with rests squarely on the shoulders of its stars.  Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key are just as funny as any video I have ever seen them in.  The play between these two actors is effortless. I have a feeling we are going to be seeing a lot more of these two and that is a good thing.

The movie also has a fantastic supporting cast including Rob Huebel, Luis Guzman, Will Forte, and Method Man. For all of my Wire fans out there, I think you will appreciate Method Man’s character’s name; I know I did. There were also a bunch of cameo appearances, and with the exception of one that seemed out of place and a little too long, they flow naturally and add to the movie’s many laughs. And any time this movie falters it busts out its secret weapon: Keanu himself. Just watching this little kitten trying to run is enough to make you go ‘awwwwwww.’

No one in the audience will regret seeing Keanu. All of it's positive atributes will allow you to forgive the few. Remember this movie as the first step forward to even more cinema hilarity from Key and Peele. B
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Top 5 Disney Princesses

4/21/2016

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There were no screenings of The Huntsman: Winter’s War in Ohio so it’s time for another top five list.  And in honor of the source material I have decided to list my top five Disney Princesses. Let’s make something clear right away: the original three princesses will be nowhere near this list. That is because Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora from Sleeping Beauty are just the worst. They are easily some of the most iconic yet uninteresting characters in movie history.  They bite an apple--they fall asleep; they prick their finger--they fall asleep; they leave a dance early-- I fall asleep.  But just because the first few were bad doesn’t mean they all are. Some of them are great. So here are the undisputed top 5 Disney Princesses.

5) Jasmine, Aladdin
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Jasmine was a different kind of princess. She had an opinion and wasn’t afraid to let it out.  Jasmine is not one to be confined to the palace; if she wants to explore her kingdom by god she is going to hop the wall and explore her kingdom. She is not going to let her Dad tell her what to do.  She thinks for herself and finds someone she wants to be with; it’s her life, her marriage. I don’t know if I necessarily agree with her choice of man, deciding to shack up with a pathological liar, but she made the choice on her own and she is sticking with her gut.  Good for you, Jasmine.  Care to disagree? Her pet tiger will rip you to shreds. Not only that, but Jasmine rocks her look in a light blue and a fiery red.  Get it, girl.

4) Anna, Frozen
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You’re probably thinking, why not Elsa?  She is the one everyone pictures when they think of Frozen: Elsa has the dress; she has the song, she has the cool powers. But Elsa also happens to be kind of a dull character. Credit where credit is due: “Let It Go” is amazing. I remember watching that scene in the movie theater and being stunned at how beautiful the song and animation was. But in terms of character, Anna is way better. She is more of a casual, care-free kind of girl and way more comfortable out of her evening wear (aren’t we all). She loses a couple points for falling for Hans WAY too quickly and I’m a little worried about the way she was making eyes at Kristoff. But in the end, her true love isn’t some guy; it’s her sister. She foils the plot of the enemy without any magical powers, instead armed with an awkward and charming smile.
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3) Merida, Brave
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I wonder if Merida will stand the test of time.  The only redheaded princess in the bunch gives her the chance to stand out, but she is definitely not the princess most people think about.  She also suffers from a story that goes off the rails in the second half, with the whole mom turning into a bear thing.  But before that moment she is just like Jasmine, and then some. Merida refuses to settle down just because her family tells her to. When she is forced to play the princess part she doesn’t stand idly by; she literally busts out of her dress and beats back all of her suitors. If you don’t want to brush your hair don’t brush your hair— all I ask is for you to be a little nicer to your Mom. I know she’s is annoying, but she cares about you and probably doesn’t deserve to be poisoned.

2) Fa Mulan, Mulan
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The only Disney Princess on the list who has no royal connections but was named by the Disney Corporation as one of their princesses. Why? Because she is just that bad ass. She survived an avalanche, led her troops into battle, stopped the invading Hun army, and saved all of China. Not bad for a soldier nobody wanted. If you want credentials, fine: she was given the crest of the emperor, the sword of Shan Yu, and was offered a position on the small counsel. But she turned it down to be with her family. Mulan knows where her priorities are. Not only that, but she doesn’t go chasing after the guys; the guys come to her. She also happens to be one of the few Disney princesses who is born not from a fairy tale, but from legend. Dishonor on your cow if you don’t believe she deserves to be on the list. 

1) Belle, Beauty and the Beast
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Belle is the total package: she’s nice, she’s pretty, she’s well-read, she has that great dress, and she marries into royalty. Is she suffering from Stockholm syndrome? I’m not a doctor. I don’t think someone as smart as Belle could have been fooled by her captor. She didn’t fall for Gaston’s games, and he is the king of one-arm pushups. Plus, I have a special place in my heart for women who don’t mind their guys a little hairy. Belle also has the fortune of starring in one the most well-made animated movies of all time, and the first animated movie ever to be nominated for an Academy Award. Bonus points for the movie’s opening number, which shares its name with our protagonist. This song sets up the character, her desires, and the story, along with the motive of the movie’s antagonist in an upbeat and catchy way. It gives “Circle of Life” a run for its money for best opening number. Belle knows there is more to life than this little town, and she is smart enough to separate herself from the people who thinks she’s weird, and finds her own adventure.  

​Who is your favorite Disney Princess?  Let me know.  Also let me know if you happen to see The Huntsman this weekend, I hear it looks very pretty.  Next week I'll be reviewing a movie about the most gangsta cat around: Keanu.  
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Ooh-bi-doo, I wanna be like you

4/15/2016

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the Jungle Book Reviewed 

As I walked out of The Jungle Book I thought to myself: that was good, but seeing this really makes me want to watch the original Jungle Book cartoon. Then I went back and started watching clips of the original and immediately began to regret my decision. I think for the most part we all look back on the animated Disney classics of our childhood with a rosy glow. The original Jungle Book is kind of a mess, most of the story is disjointed, the animation doesn’t hold up and with the exception of “Bear Necessities” and “I Wanna Be like You” the songs are mostly space filler. Well worry not because those two songs are the only two songs that make it into the best made adaptation of The Jungle Book yet.

Director Jon Favreau cast a bunch of terrific actors to voice these classic cartoon characters.  Bill Murray is quite literally the perfect Baloo, Ben Kingsley is an understated Bagheera, and I hereby nominate Idris Elba to play every sinister character from here to eternity. That voice can send chills up and down your spine.  (Also please take note that the late Garry Shandling makes an appearance as a porcupine in his final film appearance).  But the movie lives and dies on the only human in the movie and that is played by newcomer Neel Sethi and he gets the job done.  I am not usually a fan of child actors and he doesn’t blow me away, but this kid is Mowgli. He’s not plucky or ‘aww gee willikers’ instead he plays the role naturally as a pre-teen should and does a stand up job.  
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I think I enjoy "I Wanna Be Like You" more than I enjoy "Bear Necessities." Is that weird?
The Jungle Book also happens to look great. I saw the movie in 3D and I am not convinced you need to spend the extra money on the glasses. It looks good and there are certain parts that will look better in 3D but not enough to justify the extra money. No matter what version you see I think the setting still pops, the action is engaging, and the animals look real. CGI has got to the point where I am almost positive I am watching computer animated animals but I also can’t be 100% certain I am not watching real animals with peanut butter on the roof of their mouths. Which may explain why Shere Kahn is so angry - tigers hate peanut butter as we all know.
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This movie is kid friendly, but parents take note it is not as light and breezy as the original animated movie. Favreau takes a few dark turns, but nothing too severe that most kids can’t handle. During my screening there was a small child crying at one point but he was quickly settled and didn’t make a peep the rest of the movie. So be warned it can be a little scary, but as I was walking out of the theater kids of all ages had smiles across their faces.

This is the best made version of The Jungle Book yet but make no mistake the standard bearer for the story will still be the 1967 version. I would still suggest all kids should revisit the Disney classic; but if you were going to the movies this weekend and your kid has never seen the original you would be okay sharing this one with them first. It stays faithful to the story we all grew up loving but provides updates to keep today’s audience interested and engaged. It was a shocking surprise how well done this movie is and reassures audiences the mouse has not lost his magic touch.  B
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TOP 5 COURTROOM DRAMAS

4/8/2016

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As I wrapped up watching The People vs. O.J. Simpson this week it kind of amazed me how a courtroom drama can capture so many emotions.  I knew how the story was going to end but I still couldn’t help but feel sorry for all the characters, even the guilty ones.  In honor of how reinvigorated everyone became with, “The Trial of the Century” we’ll take a look at the top five courtroom dramas.

Honorable Mention: My Cousin Vinny
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This is not a drama so probably has no place on the list, but how great is this movie?  I don’t care how many times Joe Pesci has portrayed a gangster; his most memorable roles are always infused with a little comedy.  And not for one second do I believe that Marissa Tomei didn’t deserve that Oscar; she is standout hilarious throughout the movie.  The two of them combined elevate My Cousin Vinny to a comedy classic and do what most stories veer away from: they make a courtroom funny.

5) Philadelphia 
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Denzel and Hanks sharing the screen? It’d be impossible to leave this one off the list. At the time this was the first big-budget Hollywood movie to deal with the AIDS epidemic.  Director Jonathan Demme gets a little sappy trying to deliver his message but I fall for it hook, line, and sinker. Tom Hanks is absolutely amazing as Andrew Beckett and was awarded Best Actor for his performance. Probably a little dated by now, but its message about discrimination is still relevant today. 

4) JFK
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I really enjoyed Kevin Costner when he was in his prime, but to this day I can’t tell if he is trying to match the dialect of his character or just doing some classic early nineties overacting. Either way, I know I eat it up whenever I see him on screen. But he isn’t the only one, as Oliver Stone rounds up a ton of Hollywood heavyweights to help share this popular conspiracy theory. How much of it is true? Well the President was shot. Other than that I have no idea, but I was entertained the whole time. You are going to need to buckle in because this movie is three hours long. If you don’t have time for that please enjoy a Seinfeld recreation featuring a classic Mets implosion to start it all off. 
 
3) To Kill a Mockingbird
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I knew what my top three movies would be immediately; it was putting them in order that took a second. I would assume many people know the story of To Kill a Mockingbird by now, having read it in school. If you never have you should. Atticus is one of the greatest fictional heroes of all time, no matter what sequels/first drafts would tell you. Finch proves himself in court and leaves no doubt to the innocence of his client, which helps to further the story’s drama. This story is must-read and a must-watch for people of all ages. Who knows; maybe if you were lucky you got to watch the movie in class and skip your science lesson.
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2) A Few Good Men
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One of my favorite movies of all time and probably where I first fell in love with Aaron Sorkin’s writing.  Originally a stage play but then adapted to the screen by Rob Reiner, another fantastic cast comes together to take on a story that relies mostly on its dialogue.  The climatic exchange between Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson lives up to the expectation. The movie is also deservedly featured on the list of AFI’s Top Movie Lines. I can’t wait to see how NBC handles the story when they bring a live adaptation to the small screen this fall. This is a movie I would sit down and watch any time it came on TV. 

1) 12 Angry Men
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While I enjoy A Few Good Men more, 12 Angry Men is the superior movie. Another movie taken from the stage and set to film, almost the entire story takes place in one location. A black and white film with heavy dialogue may seem like a homework assignment to those unfamiliar with the story but this movie is worth a visit. Henry Fonda plays the one man willing to hold out against 11 other men who just want to go home and escape the unbearably hot jury room. The dialogue is brilliant, as is the pacing of the story. Many thanks to Amy Schumer for bringing this iconic film back into the limelight when she parodied the story on her show. One of her most heavily praised episodes of all time by the way.
 
What do you think of this list?  Did I leave anything off?  Next week back to reviews and I take a look at the new live-action Jungle Book.
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Top 5 Baseball Movies

4/1/2016

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Baseball season is just around the corner, and since I didn’t get a chance to see God’s Not Dead 2 (which should have been called God’s Still Not Dead) I decided to make a top five list. These movies are all classics that most people will have seen by now. In that vein, please note that while I speak about some of these movies, specifically five and four on the list, I am going to talk about the endings, so if you haven’t seen them, stop what you are doing and rectify that error.

Honorable Mention: Baseketball

Making the honorable mention list because it is not actually a baseball movie, nor is it a basketball movie, and it definitely isn’t horse. I could watch this movie 100 times and always laugh. Basketball hits me in all the right spots and is just as funny as South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut. At the time this was the biggest-budget movie Trey Parker and Matt Stone had done, and they proved to a lot of people they were funny beyond four animated kids. Not only that, but they somehow wrangled Al Michaels and Bob Costas to call the games.  How cool is that?

5) Field of Dreams

I have two eyes and a heart don’t I? I tried leaving this movie off this list; Moneyball was in its place. But I couldn’t do it. This movie is damn near iconic and if it doesn’t scream baseball then nothing does. Does this movie make sense? Not one bit. How did all the people coming to the game hear about it? Did they also have ghost advertisers? Who was going to be taking ticket money? And where was everyone going to sit? There is no doubt this farm was about to devolve into chaos. I would have wrote off Field of Dreams right there if that was all it had, but this movie has one more trick up its sleeve. An emotional gut punch that is sappy as hell but who cares because I ate it up. This movie is quintessential baseball and illustrates why the game has such a special place in so many people’s hearts. 

4) Angels in the Outfield

Does this movie deserve to be above a Kevin Costner classic? Yes it does. I thought about putting Rookie of the Year on the list, if for nothing else than for Gary Busey in a borderline dramatic role and rocking a sweet 'stache. But I know I watched Angels in the Outfield way more. Another movie that doesn’t make any sense. Let’s not forget Ranch Wilder, the team’s announcer, is somehow the villain in this movie for criticizing manager Danny Glover for not taking Tony Danza out of the game after throwing over 156 pitches and loading the bases in the ninth. Trust your bullpen, Glover, and protect your lead. But as a Back to the Future fan I loved seeing Christopher Lloyd as Al, and recognizing a young Adrian Brody and Matthew McConaugey upon rewatching this movie when I was way too old to be rewatching this movie.

3) A League of Their Own

his movie is almost a perfect combination of every emotion. A League of Their Own walks the line of being sappy but I don’t think it ever crosses it. This movie has the right kind of heart that earns all its feelings. Not only that, but it gets a ton of great performances and one liners from its actors. Tom Hanks as a drunk?  Yes please. Prime Geena Davis being as delightful a character as I have ever seen. And the movie reminded me how much I like seeing Rosie on screen. One of the only knocks against this movie is the song Madonna sings over the credits at the end. She was such a great character in the movie and then to go out like that. Woof. 

2) Sandlot

This movie was an integral part of my childhood and it made me believe. I believed Benny “The Jet" Rodriguez was lightning fast. I believed The Beast would kill you just as soon as look at you. I believed I could get a girl just like Wendy Peffercorn. Come to think of it I did get a girl just like Wendy Peffercorn. All hail Sandlot. You have made a believer out of me for-ev-er. 

1) Major League

Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn, Willie Mays Hayes, and Jake Taylor--of all the rag tag misfits out there these guys were my favorite. If I was going to buy a jersey for a fictional player in any sports movie it would be one of these guys. This movie is the perfect balance of everything great I want to see in a movie: the music, the montage, the comedy, the Yankees as the villain of the movie, ya know, the way it should be. Not only that, but it has Bob Uecker calling the game with lines that can and should be used whenever watching any baseball game. 
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> Enjoy the season,or at least try, for all my Phillies and Reds readers out there.
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