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Top 5 Deep Space Movies

7/28/2016

With the new Star Trek movie out this week, I decided to take a look back at the top-five deep space movies. Now to qualify for this list, the majority of the movie had to take place outside our solar system, so trips to Mars and Jupiter didn’t count. I also decided to include only one movie per movie franchise. That means you will only see one Star Trek and one Star Wars movie on this list; you can’t have the whole list taken up by Wookies and Vulcans. So let’s blast off.

Honorable Mention: Serenity (2005)

I think Serenity is a great movie. But I can't be a hundred percent sure if it stands on its own or whether the only reason I like it is because I liked the TV show Firefly. Fox did nerds everywhere a great disservice by canceling the series after only one season; this series demanded more time and we got it in a two-hour movie. Joss Whedon does a good job wrapping up some old story lines, but I think people who weren’t fans of the show can also enjoy Serenity. Though I can’t know for sure, which is why it's an honorable mention.

5) Galaxy Quest (1999)

I was surprised how much I like this movie. Not only is it funny but the action is pretty good, too. Starring Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Sam Rockwell, and Alan Rickman, the cast is fantastic and pays homage not only to Star Trek, but to Star Trek fans. The highlight of the film is obviously Alan Rickman, the actor who clearly doesn't want to be a part of this team. He's so bitchy throughout the movie you can't help but laugh. By Grabthar's hammer I liked this movie.

4) Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Yes, I love Star Trek and Star Wars movies with the best of them. But in my heart of hearts I will always be a comic book nerd first. That's why it should be no surprise that Guardians of the Galaxy is making the list. This is one of my favorite movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. All of the characters are great and each of the unique personalities and goals blend together well as one team. I'm so glad that this movie made Chris Pratt a star. Deservedly so—he's funny, he’s handsome, and he's fun to watch. Guardians of the Galaxy works independently of the larger Marvel Universe, which means more people can enjoy it, but it also gives fans enough Easter eggs to reward their viewing. Not only that, but the soundtrack is amazing as well. If you can't get behind Bradley Cooper playing a talking raccoon and Vin Diesel playing a tree that can only say three words, I don't know if we can be friends.

3) Aliens (1986)

Yes, the original Alien movie directed by Ridley Scott was suspenseful, had a great story, looked good, and holds up, but the James Cameron sequel not only achieves all of that, but it’s fun as well. The shoot-'em-up action movie Aliens is probably what people remember more than the original (except, of course, that stomach bursting scene). Sigourney Weaver's Ripley is also a more interesting character in the sequel. She's good as a blue collar worker in the original, but when she's a surrogate mother fighting to protect someone she loves, something special goes off in Ripley that makes her even more iconic. Plus, that yellow exoskeleton suit is just bad ass.

2) Star Trek (2009)

I like the new Star Trek movie more than I like Wrath of Khan. There, I said it; please don't hurt me. The new Star Trek movie rejuvenated the series and updated it for today’s audiences. The movie boasts great action and a cast that does an admirable job filling in for iconic roles. And I love the way director JJ Abrams found a way to create a reboot and doesn’t negate the old movies. The Wrath of Khan, which is considered by many to be the best Star Trek movie, is a little dated. I watched it as a kid and I loved it, but I tried watching it again within the past 10 years and it was just too goofy and looked too cheap for me to really enjoy it.

1) Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

My partner may be the first person I've ever met who likes Star Trek more than Star Wars. Of course Star Trek is a great series, but Star Wars connected with people in a way I don't think any other movie series has ever been able to. The original trilogy has possibly the best villain in all of movie history. And once more Darth Vader winds up ahead in this story. Setting up for a finale movie that isn't as great as this one, but stands the test of time. With characters you know and love and a soundtrack just as iconic as the movie itself could it be anything else. You know it to be true.
What do you think of this list? Anything I missed? Let me know. I’m taking next week off but will be back in two weeks to talk Suicide Squad.

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Sultan Makes Me Want To Burst Into Song And Dance

7/21/2016

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Bollywood Movie Review

In last week’s review of Ghostbusters I wrote how this has been a bad summer for movies. Last weekend in order to escape the heat I went to the movie theater, but the few movies I hadn’t seen looked terrible. Then, like a beacon of hope, I saw a movie I did not recognize called Sultan, and once I saw the trailer I knew this was a movie I needed to see. If you like movies about wrestling, love, and occasional song and dance breaks then you too will need to see Sultan.

Sultan is a Bollywood movie about a middle-aged former wrestling champion named Sultan Ali Khan (Salman Khan). He is living a lonely life in a small Indian town working at the water company, that is until the owner of an independent MMA league, Aakash Oberoi (Amit Sadh), tries to recruit him to join his failing company to attract more local support. Sultan refuses the offer because he has vowed to never step in the ring again. Aakash then seeks out Sultan’s only friend, who tells him what has led Sultan to live this life of solitude.

While Sultan is a movie about a wrestler trying to find himself again, it is also about love, just like any great Bollywood movie. Sultan falls in love at first sight with Aarfa Hussain (Anushka Sharma) who has the same dreams of wrestling greatness. Their story, both their immediate courtship and later trials and tribulations, feels natural, more so than American blockbusters where the climax of the movie often proves so powerful that the two leads need to make out.

That mustache tho

Kahn and Sharma’s performances come off as earnest. Salman Khan is one of the biggest stars in India, and you can tell how natural he feels carrying the narrative on his very broad shoulders. There are times when the movie’s big moments seem to appear out of nowhere, but these moments never feel dishonest to the story and the actors use them as a way to further develop their characters. Even when the story feels melodramatic, the characters rarely do.

The movie runs long at 143 minutes so if you have a small bladder you should make the proper preparations before going in. The narrative spends in an inordinate amount of time on his pre-wrestling days. The story could really be broken up into two separate movies: one about a broken relationship and the other about a former fighter looking for redemption. But director Ali Abbas Zafar tries to jam everything into this movie. He addresses themes of perseverance, forgiveness, and gender equality to name a few, and each new idea adds to the already bulging story. And if that weren’t enough Zafar throws in a couple Bollywood song and dance numbers for the crowd.

I hope that last sentence about the movie’s dance numbers didn’t sound like a complaint because it’s not. In fact, all the music in the movie is on point, especially during the training montage. It made me want to move back to Philly and start running the art museum stairs.

I have seen the story of the underdog 1000 times before so I feel like I should know how it ends, but throughout the story I felt moments of uncertainty. That could be because I am unfamiliar with the Bollywood way of making movies, or it could be because I was so emotionally invested in the story. Sultan provides a nice change of pace to the oppressive heat of summer movies that wind up just stinking. B+

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She Ain't Afraid Of Ghosts Or Internet Trolls

7/14/2016

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oR hOW i wENT tO sEE A MOVIE tHAT sTARRED fOUR wOMEN aND lIVED

Today is July 15th, which means we are about halfway the summer blockbuster season, and I would describe the movies that have come out so far as “fine.” Sure, Captain America and Dory were great, but everything else has just kind of sat there. Ghostbusters, however, is not only the funniest movie of the summer but may be the funniest movie of the year.

Directed by Paul Feig, who gave us Bridesmaids, Spy, and The Heat, there’s no surprise that Ghostbusters has tons of laughs to it. The movie stars Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones as the iconic team. Everyone knows how funny McCarthy and Wiig can be, but Saturday Night Live stars Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones outshine the leads with silly and over-the-top performances.

Erin Gilbert (Wiig) is about to receive tenure as a college professor until a book she wrote with former partner Abby Yates (McCarthy) about the existence of ghosts resurfaces and threatens to make her a laughing stock among her peers. Gilbert is trying to make the book disappear when she comes across a real-life ghost that makes her believe again.

For whatever reason I assumed the movie would be more similar to the original, perhaps because the original is held in such high regard. But the new Ghostbusters have personalities completely independent of their predecessors, which is what makes the movie so funny. The 1984 version placed more emphasis on the action rather than the comedy while the new version puts more emphasis on the comedy portion, and with much success. I couldn’t stop laughing throughout the movie, especially during the first half.

I didn't get a chance to talk about Chris Hemsworth but he's hysterical as the dumb male secretary.

The jokes come in all different shapes and sizes there's great physical comedy, clever dialog, over-the-top performances, subtle nods to the original, great cameos and one terrific performance of “Rhythm of the Night.” I fell in love with the new team so hard and so fast that I became emotionally invested, so much so that by the time the team had captured their first ghost I almost welled up with pride for them.

The movie did have its problems—for starters the climatic fight scene probably goes on too long. But that could be a problem with movies today in general as the average runtime is longer than 30 years ago, especially for action movies. With the added minutes came more pressure to add extra CGI for bigger action sequences which this movie did not need. Paul Feig’s strengths don’t come from giant monsters blowing up a city; he’s better with two characters in the room shooting one-liners at each other.

The other thing the new movie just couldn't improve upon was the theme song. Fall Out Boy tries to update the original song with the help of Missy Elliot, but I am sorry—the Ray Parker Jr. classic is still miles ahead. Though, these complaints are small quibbles in an otherwise great movie.

Remaking an iconic movie means it’s already going to have a built-in group of haters. Throw in a gender reversaland you'll get a bunch of misogynists who are convinced that women can't be as funny as men. These people will probably never go see this movie. Forget them. More space for you at the theater. The Ghostbusters reboot does enough to differentiate itself from the original that it stands on its own as a great movie. A-

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If They're Anything Like My Dog All They Do Is Lay In The Sun

7/7/2016

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The Secret Life OF Pets Reviewed

The Secret Life of Pets opens with Taylor Swift’s “Welcome to New York” while the camera flies above the city. If that sounds familiar to you, it’s because that’s exactly how the movie How to Be Single started. That same montage has been done 1000 times before, a warning to the audience of exactly what kind of formulaic garbage you are about to sit through.

The Secret Life of Pets is all about pets’ lives when their owners leave, but it primarily features two dogs: Max and Duke. Max is having a great life as his owner Katie's loyal dog, until she brings home Duke, a big brown mop of a dog that takes over Max’s space. Max plots to get rid of his new brother so that he can have owner Katie all to himself once again. But through a wild series events the two dogs wind up alone in the city and have to work together to get back home. Will Woody and Buzz get home to Andy before the move? Wait, nevermind, I had déjà vu for a second there.

Louie C.K. plays Max and suffers as the bland lead, which is a shame seeing as how brilliant Louie can be. He plays this character as written, with nothing funny asked of him and nothing funny given. Eric Stonestreet as Duke is also a plain-Jane kind of character. Stonestreet doesn’t offer anything particularly interesting in his voice acting in terms of jokes or emotion. They try to add some emotional heft to his character as the movie progresses. but it comes off as cheap more than sincere.

The only interesting character in this whole movie is Snowball (Kevin Hart), a maniacal bunny rabbit. Watching a fluffy, little bunny talking with a tattooed pig and quiet iguana about killing humans is undeniably funny. Hart carries the comedic load of the script, trying to do what this movie should have been doing the entire time.

Kevin Hart's Snowball is one of the few high points of the movie

With no original story and dull lead characters, there is no opportunity to create a memorable moment. So instead The Secret Life of Pets goes for cheap chuckles and sight gags to entertain the kids in the audience. But as the movie marches on the laughs are fewer and far between.

As I walked out of the movie a couple of kids said to each other that they liked the movie, not knowing exactly what they liked about it, just knowing it had appealed to them. Perhaps that is good enough.

20 years ago this movie would have been fine for the family to enjoy, but now with studios like Pixar in the game the usual just won’t do anymore. If this was a Pixar movie I would have cried just thinking about the movie again, but a moment like that never comes. Even Disney, who now owns Pixar, is starting to raise the bar in their movie production, churning out movies similar to the early 90’s set that led to the animation resurgence. This leaves lesser movies like this one to be forgotten in the discount bin of a grocery store.

Movies don’t get any safer than The Secret Life of Pets. If you are looking for a movie to entertain the whole family, you're better off renting Zootopia or seeing Finding Dory again. But if you just want a way to distract the kids for 90 minutes and to avoid the heat, then this movie can at least do that. D

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Top 5 Deep Space Movies

Sultan Makes Me Want To Burst Into Song And Dance

Bollywood Movie Review

She Ain't Afraid Of Ghosts Or Internet Trolls﻿

oR hOW i wENT tO sEE A MOVIE tHAT sTARRED fOUR wOMEN aND lIVED

If They're Anything Like My Dog All They Do Is Lay In The Sun

The Secret Life OF Pets Reviewed

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