• Podcast
  • Reviews
  • NJ IPA Podcast
  • About
  • Search
  • Podcast
  • Reviews
  • NJ IPA Podcast
  • About
  • Search
SCENE IT ALL BEFORE

50 Shades Of Kinky F**kery

2/9/2017

0 Comments

 

50 Shades Darker Reviewed

50 Shades Darker knows what kind of movie it is and what its audience is looking for. After all, this is a movie about female sexuality, from a woman who just wanted to imagine a kinkier world of Edward and Bella and share it with the world via fan fiction. So why not give the people what they want? And I'll tell you now, by the amount of hooting and hollering going on in the theater, I would say the audience got it.
 
50 Shades Darker takes place a couple months after the events of Fifty Shades of Grey. Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) has moved on and is now working for a different company. But Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) hasn't been able to let go and will do anything to get her back, even if that means giving up his lifestyle of S&M for a more vanilla kind of relationship. 
 
Both actors do better this time around, and for the first half of the movie they actually possess a little chemistry. In terms of on-screen presence, Dakota Johnson is definitely the strength of the movie. No question she's a very charming actress and is able to vary her performance from meek to emboldened depending on what that page of the script she was on. While she shares some sparks in the beginning of the movie with her co-star, somehow by the end of the movie it runs out, as does Jamie Dornan's sense of believability. For whatever reason Dornan regresses to his previous performance-style and he becomes not only stiff but a bit comical. 
 
Hands down the best part about the movie is the soundtrack. By now most of us have heard the Taylor Swift and Zayn Malik song, “I Don't Wanna Live Forever” but the entire soundtrack is full of sultry, contemporary hits. Any time there is a long shot of a romantic setting or our lead characters are about to bang, the filmmakers slide in a song to let us know how exactly to feel. Normally this would annoy me, but the music was so good and matched the tone so well I’m going to give it a pass because it accomplished exactly what it set out to do. Kudos. 
The movie does its best to inject a little conflict into the story: some past exes are introduced, possible romantic rivals, and something about a helicopter. But everything gets explained away so fast that it’s almost like director James Foley is telling you, “Listen we know they're going to be fine, so let me just get back to the sex.”
 
We all know what you came here to see. It’s the same thing I was looking for when I turned on HBO as a young teenager, and that is some softcore porn. And this movie has it in spades. But if I can offer one suggestion, I would tell you not to sit next to your older co-worker and her husband who happened to also get movie passes from your radio station. If this happens, then you will have to watch him squeeze her upper thigh every time it’s about to get kinky. (As we were walking out they told me they really enjoyed the movie.)
 
Without a doubt the weirdest part of the movie, weirder than whatever happened in the Red Room and the amount of Dakota Johnson breasts we see, is that for some reason in his childhood bedroom Christian Grey has a movie poster for The Chronicles of Riddick. This is a character that grew up in a lavish home where he could have anything. So why The Chronicles of Riddick? It must have been clear from a young age that he was really into torturing himself.
(D; C+ if you are into this sort of thing)
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    1920s
    2015
    Action
    A Nightmare On Elm Street
    Aquaman
    Baby Driver
    Batman
    Ben Affleck
    Black Panther
    Blade Runner
    Blade Runner 2049
    Bradley Cooper
    Charlie Hunnam
    Chris Messina
    Chris Pratt
    Christopher Nolan
    Coco
    Cyborg
    Dave Bautista
    DC
    Director
    Disney
    Drama
    Dunkirk
    Ferdinand
    Game Of Thrones
    Gangster
    GLOW
    Guardians Of The Galaxy
    Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 2
    Guy Ritchie
    Happy Death Day
    House Of Cards
    I
    Jennifer Lawrence
    Jude Law
    Justice League
    King Arthur
    Kumail Nanjiani
    Live By Night
    Marvel
    Mob
    Movie
    Orange Is The New Black
    Oscar Picks
    Passengers
    Patton Oswalt
    Pixar
    Podcast
    Prohibition
    Rain Man
    Review
    Sci-Fi
    Space
    Spider Man
    Spider-Man
    Star Wars
    Suburbicon
    Superheroes
    Superman
    The Big Sick
    The Dark Tower
    The Faculty
    The Flash
    The Last Five Years
    The Last Jedi
    The Little Giants
    Tommy Boy
    Tonya
    Top Ten
    TV
    Twin Peaks
    Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
    Universe
    Vin Diesel
    Wonder
    Wonder Woman
    Zoe Saldana

    Archives

    May 2021
    February 2020
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.